Finally, my career aspirations have been achieved. Luckily, I did not have to repair anyone's fake Armani "tuxado." Although I'm pretty sure I had this expression plastered onto my face a time or two. Next time, I think I'll pretend to talk into an earpiece for theatrical effect.
You know, Franck Eggelhoffer from Father of the Bride.
Now I'm happily ensconced back in Geronimo, Oklahoma, working from my little home office and basking in the fact that the Captain is no longer in a different time zone. What could be better? (Well, aside from world peace, a lottery win, a successful novel-writing career, and a lifetime supply of enchiladas, that is. If anyone can provide any of the above, you just let me know.)