ArmyHarmony

Lately I've been feeling tired. Tired of going through the motions of living a "normal" life when the truth is, life is pretty darn far from normal. There are a lot of "big" changes I could get used to--moving to a new place, starting a new job, etc.--but having my husband in a war zone is not one of them. I was warned that I would hit my first major wall around the three-month mark; I guess this is it. I think that three months is daunting because it feels like Spike has been gone for ages. I've had time to develop new routines, take up a new hobby, and resurrect an old one (more on that later), but we're not even close to being done. The majority of the deployment still stretches before us, and we're not even within hailing distance of the halfway point.

Besides the obvious worries that I refuse to dwell on or even type out, I think my biggest fear is what "the new normal" will turn out to be once this period in our lives is over. I can feel myself evolving and changing in ways that Spike isn't a part of. Even though we're very fortunate in that we are able to communicate regularly, Spike isn't participating in the changes I am--he's just hearing about them. I know the same thing is happening with him. It's true what they say: in many ways, we really will be two new people saying "hello" at homecoming, rather than the same two people picking up where they left off.

What I need to remind myself of is that the BIG things are remaining the same. My values, defining personality traits, character, and commitment aren't undergoing any big shifts. It's just that the trimmings are going to look a little different when Spike re-enters daily life in the flesh. I know that the same is true for him. And since those big things are what attracted us to each other in the first place, I know we'll be okay.

So, change of gear: since I put my original deployment project--writing a historical romance novel--aside due to the fact that I write more than enough at work these days, I am pursuing another goal that I've had for years: learning to play the violin. So far I've had three lessons and can produce a few recognizable, if not perfect, songs. Eventually, I want to focus in on bluegrass and Celtic fiddle tunes. Loving it so far! Practicing gives me something to look forward to every evening.

From my first lesson--hadn't yet begun to learn left hand fingerings at that point!

 I have also returned to doing art on a more regular basis. In June I created a pencil portrait of a friend's in-laws for her father-in-law's birthday.

Hadn't quite finished it in this shot, obviously, but it's almost there. 

Now I'm working on a painting of a good friend and her new husband as a wedding gift. I'll try to post a picture of it when I'm done, since it's in a completely different style.

So, I'm keeping busy and endeavoring to have productive things to show for my time.Onward and Upward.